The Unwitting Business Partner

I don’t think he signed up for this. In fact, I often wonder if he knew what life would really be like with me as a work-at-home homeschooling mom – if he would have turned tail and run for the hills. But so far – thankfully – my husband maneuvers through the days with me, never knowing how many hours I’ll be spending in the office each week, whether or not supper will be ready when he walks through the door, or if I am on the verge of a freak-out moment because somehow in the next 9 hours I have to create lessons for the kids, edit 40 pages, and write three articles. Forget about the dust and the laundry. Oh – and sleep somewhere in there, too.

Your Spouse Can Be the Best Asset to Your Work-At-Home Job

Spouses of work-at-home parents are often the unwitting business partners. No one can truly know the chaos working at home might bring to the entire family – so unwitting has to at some point move to either unflappable [he expects life to be crazy and embraces it] or unwilling [this crazy life is too much for him].

Work-at-home mom is redundant. It implies that there are moms, and then there are moms with jobs that require work. However, I still can recognize the inherent differences and I consider myself a work-at-home mom because I have outside work for which I am responsible (and I don’t mean the lawn – although I am responsible for that, too). As a work-at-home mom I spend a good chunk of time at the computer writing, on the sofa editing, and in the kitchen sticking notes on the counter as I brainstorm my way through the supper dishes. For the most part I cloud commute, rarely meeting clients face-to-face. Add in to these responsibilities my main job as Mom, and homeschool Mom on top of that, and I absolutely couldn’t do it without the cooperation of my husband.

Along the way I’ve developed some strategies and realized some important lessons when it comes to work and my most valuable partner – my husband.

Be Proactive

Being a work-at-home mom requires the scheduling dexterity of a time-savvy ninja and the energy of an 8 year-old who was fed caffeinated pop at Grandma’s. Don’t wait until you are frustrated with an overload and you explode sticky notes and dirty laundry all over the place. Let your partner know when you need help, or when he should probably just wash his own socks and underwear.

Be Specific

Don’t just say you have work to do and you need some quiet time. Say, “I have at least 3 hours of editing (or whatever your task might be). Please take the kids out of the house from 4-7 so that I can complete this work and meet my deadline.” If you need his help finishing the load of laundry, doing the dishes, or driving the kids to and from practice, be specific and don’t expect him to read your mind and your hectic schedule.

Be Thankful

If your partner listens to your needs or anticipates your needs and actively helps you accomplish what you need to do, let him know! Tell him right away how much you appreciate his efforts. Then make sure you also regularly acknowledge those efforts by reciprocating in some way. Sometimes I even just tuck notes inside my husband’s briefcase that let him know I noticed and I appreciate him.

Be Present

If you say that you have 3 hours of work to complete that evening, don’t suddenly look up after spending 5 hours at the computer and wonder why he might be upset. Make sure you find a way to devote time and energy to your partner like he sees you devoting to your work. I appreciate it when my husband comes home from work and puts the laptop away for the evening and devotes time to us as a family. It can be challenging when my work always just seem to be here for me to do the same, but I need to be conscious of not letting the lines between work and family get too blurred.

Working at home while actively being a mom is rewarding, exhausting, and empowering. Without the support of my husband, it would be too overwhelming to do each day, and impossible to do well at all.

The Vote that Scares Me Most

Vote

If there is a place on the ballot for parents – a vote for whether or not we are preparing our children well for the world where by each of our names we would mark Pass or Fail, would I be able to vote for myself with a passing grade? It is a frightening thought, and I am not certain of the answer. We teach our kids so how to do so many things – how to talk, tie laces, read, be a good friend, and drive. So many lessons and firsts that our heads spin! Today marks another “first” in our household – one that I worry and hope that I have prepared my daughter to maneuver. She is voting for the first time. As I watched her take her ballot I was overcome with a tidal wave of parental anxiety – wondering if I have given her the tools she needs as a legally responsible, voting adult. While we’ve had immeasurable discussions about politics in our home over the years, knowledge of the nuances and leaps between political parties is not enough of a tool. I want my kids to possess more in their election toolboxes.

Discernment – Suddenly all of those moments we discussed and debated ideas, topics, and ideals in our home flood through my mind. I don’t think I truly realized all along how much these moments might prepare her to discern for herself which path she finds most relevant and right. While I might not always want to admit it, I am thrilled she is stubborn when it comes to her beliefs. It will hopefully keep her steadfast as she marks her ballots in years to come – implementing discernment with each selection and standing up for what she believes is just.

Gratitude – I ache inside with hope that my daughter felt a deep sense of gratitude as she marked her ballot, and I hope that I have demonstrated over the years that I am grateful for my privilege as a citizen – as a woman – to vote. I am thankful for the civic contributions to our country that politicians have made, even though I may roll my eyes at some of these “contributions” along the way. I am grateful for and humbled by those who came before us in the suffrage movement of decades past and by the military for lives endangered and lost to secure our national freedoms. As I watch on news reports of girls and women robbed of essentials such as food, safety, and life, I imagine that they can’t even envision the right to vote. I hope my daughter and I never take for granted the voices we have, and that we find ways to use those voices to speak for those who cannot.

Faith –This thought both bolsters my confidence and terrifies me that I haven’t done enough. I remember many Sunday mornings spent in the “crying room” at church with four very young children – and the only thing I really prayed for was that the homily would move along so I could escape before my children destroyed the furniture or each other. As my children have grown, helping them learn to fold their hands in prayer, to lift themselves and others up to a higher power, I don’t think I ever did it with the direct thought that it would serve them as they vote. But now I can’t imagine a more powerful component of the voting process. I hope that faith guided my daughter’s hands more than anything else as she cast her first ballot. Faith in a country that may not be perfect, but that is a perfect example of possibilities. Faith in candidates to fulfill duties promised during campaigns. Faith in herself that she is choosing candidates who represent the values, ethics, and morals she holds dear to her own soul. Faith in a purpose and path that leads to amazing wonders.

And I hope that if there ever is a ballot that collects votes regarding the capabilities of parents, that there is an option to mark besides “Pass” or “Fail” – perhaps “Work in Progress” – for that is all we really are.

Halloween Party Printables

Halloween Party Printables

A Goblin Good Time – Fun and Free Halloween Printable Activities and Games

Goblins, ghouls, and sticky candy – what else could your little ones want? It’s hard to believe that we’ve been carving pumpkins and bobbing for apples with the kids around here for more than 15 years! We usually start our Halloween adventures with some games, printable activities, and anything else to have some fall fun. (And shhh, don’t tell the kids, but they are learning along the way, too!) If you’re planning a Halloween party, or you just want to have some extra fun with your kids this year, try some of these spooktacular Halloween party game ideas and printable pages that I’ve developed to use with my own monsters over the years.

Games and Printable Activities

Start by printing these Pumpkin Points – instead of handing out individual prizes for games played, your kids can earn Pumpkin Points to go towards “purchasing” their prize at the end. I like to have non-candy prizes, such as headlamps or glow-sticks for them to wear trick-or-treating, Halloween tattoos or stickers, mini-flashlights, or fun Halloween books. Why not make a full week of fun and have them earn points for a fun movie night or adventure?

Goblin Good Games

Halloween Word Bingo

This version of Bingo is great for early readers (but anyone can play). Take a look at the instruction sheet for how to use this at your Halloween party, then print cards for each player.

• Halloween Bingo Card 1
• Halloween Bingo Card 2
• Halloween Bingo Card 3
• Halloween Bingo Card 4
• Halloween Bingo Card 5
• Halloween Bingo Card 6

Pumpkin in the Dark

Print one template for every player. Take turns blindfolding one child at a time (it is fun for the others to watch each turn) and place the pumpkin template in front of the child and hand him or her a crayon or marker. Have the player design the jack-o-lantern face blindfolded – and then you can use these creative pictures for placemats. Run them through a laminator for extra durability.

Who Am I?

This game is great for all ages. You can print these easy Halloween themed words or come up with your own for older kids and adults. Each player should have one name card taped to his or her back (but they shouldn’t see which one they get). Then set the timer for 2-5 minutes and let everyone go around asking Yes/No questions. At the end, see if anyone could figure out who their Halloween character is.

Happy Halloween Word Creation

Print either one page for each player, or split the group into teams and have one page for each team. The goal is to come up with as many new words with the letters in Happy Halloween – you can give bonus points for Halloween related words. Set the timer for 3 minutes or so – depending on the age of your group.

 

Calm Down, Women Everywhere

War Between Women

Time to Stop the War Between Women – There is Room for Us All

Last night I found myself telling my daughter – who is a senior in college and planning on attending veterinary medical school – that being a woman with choices isn’t always all it is cracked up to be. In fact, it is hard. And what makes it even harder isn’t this glass ceiling. It is other women. We place expectations on each other and at times are the last ones to offer support. We make it harder for ourselves and other women.

Women have bountiful education and career choices, for which I am so thankful. However, those choices come with frustrations and judgments, and most often from other women. Just as women 50 years ago were criticized if they purposefully decided to work outside the home full time, women today are shunned by many for choosing to put their careers on hold while they stay home to raise their children. At a party not long ago I kept overhearing conversations floating between a group of women – all commiserating with each other about how “boring” it would be to “just be” a stay-at-home mom. These women all work full-time outside of the home and all were agreeing that stay-at-home moms have too much time on their hands, not enough challenges, and just can’t be fulfilled.

Stay-at-Home Moms Under Attack

This attitude that women who choose to stay home are inferior has been reflected again and again, in the media, politics, and among women across the United States. Deborah Jacobs, in an article published at Forbes.com, attempts in a backwards way to defend moms who work at home by extolling the virtue of not judging by appearance. As a mom who works outside of the home, Jacobs repeatedly remarks in her article about how she fantasizes about the lives of stay-at-home moms who wear elegant yoga attire – but then goes on to say that,

“A lot of those moms may wish they were employed outside the home but can’t find a job, or can’t find one that would pay more than the childcare they would inevitably have to compensate someone else to perform. Or maybe they are in an abusive marriage with someone who controls them, won’t let them work, and belittles them if their body fat gets higher than that of a supermodel.”

Insert my eye rolling here. Her reasoning for why we should not judge stay-at-home moms is because they might not be able to get any other type of job that pays enough for a babysitter or because their husbands are abusive and controlling. That’s the kind of defense stay-at-home moms can do without.

Why Moms Choose to Stay Home

I know I don’t live in a bubble. I’m just too claustrophobic for that. Of the many friends I have who stay home with their kids, I don’t know any who do so because they can’t get a better job or because their husbands won’t let them leave the cocoon of the home. Stay-at-home moms choose their job because:

• They want to raise their children without outside help.
• They are fulfilled staying home with their children and thoroughly enjoy actively planning and participating in every day.
• They consider the care of the home and family to be of significant value.
• They can’t imagine missing out on moments they can’t get back – 1^st steps, words, etc.
• They plan to pursue an outside career when their children are older and more independent.
• They want to homeschool their kids.
• It is their dream job.

This is my dream job. Staying at home, making the choice to raise my four children by being present every day in their lives, homeschooling them, making the choice to put my career on hold and meet whatever those consequences may be, these are all a part of my choice. These are all a part of my dream job. There are challenges and there are worries and there are downright agonizing moments. But I am guessing that is true for women all over the world, no matter how they spend their days.

In yet another article that devalues the choice a woman makes to be a stay-at-home mom, Judith Warner claims that when women choose to stay at home,

“Their position of equality with their husbands is by necessity somewhat eroded. They lose the sense of strength that comes from knowing that, come what may, they can keep themselves and their children afloat economically. They lose intellectual stimulation (assuming that they were lucky enough to have it in their jobs anyway), the easy companionship and structure of the workplace, and recognition from the outside world. And if they don’t have the money to outsource domestic jobs, their freedom from paid work comes at the cost of repetitive thankless tasks — laundry, cleaning and the like — that test their patience and can chip away at their self-worth. The pleasure in this life of course is time with the children, but school-age kids leave a void that many find hard to meaningfully fill.”

When women reflect like this on other women who make different choices, it creates an atmosphere of judgment, resentment, and worse. Let’s calm down a bit and ask ourselves two questions:

1. Am *I* happy with my choice for me, regardless of how the group of sneering women at the party feels?

2. Am *I* thankful for the women around me who have made their own choices, no matter if they are different from mine?

I am not just happy with my choice. I am a woman with no regrets who gets her dream job. 

I am thankful for women who choose not to stay home.

Yes. You read that right. I am thankful for women who are working outside of the home. She is the doctor who cares for my children and who I trust with their health. She is the Autism resource provider who gives me support and resources for my child. She is the health aide who lovingly cared for my grandmother during her final days. She is the dance instructor who gives her enthusiasm to my child in the studio. She is the woman who works at church, developing community resources for those in need. She is the boss where my daughter works and who provides leadership and mentoring as my daughter pursues her own dreams. She is my sister who volunteers every weekend after working full-time during the week. She is my mother who was a teacher and who helped to influence the lives of her students. I am thankful for all of these women, and so many more, who give their time, talents, and dedication to entities beyond themselves in their unique ways.

And I hope out there exists a group of women who are thankful for the stay-at-home moms. These are the women who step into the classrooms as teacher-helpers. These are the women who volunteer during the day for community services, teaching the next generation how to do the same. These are the women who keep extra eyes on the kids in the neighborhood and have open arms for them when needed. These are the women you call when you need a babysitter at the last minute, a ride for Billy, or a place for Suzie on a snow day from school. These are the women who provide foster care. These are the women who stop for coffee with the elderly neighbor after time at the park – the only visit this neighbor will receive each week. These are the women who nurture, educate, and provide hands on learning experiences for the children who will eventually inherit the world.

Women – for all of their love, compassion, and strength – are also the harshest judges, the coldest critics, and the cruelest when it comes to other women. I’ve tried on many hats as a woman. Stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, and working mom. I know where I am happiest and where I believe I contribute most to the world. I won’t tell you what is best for your family if you don’t proceed to assume I’m bored, unfulfilled, lazy, or unhappy with mine as a work-at-home homeschool mom. It’s time to calm down, women everywhere. There is room for us all. There is need for us all. Let’s calm down, women everywhere, and take a moment to thank the women in our world, no matter what paths they choose.

Build Family Traditions and Build Stronger Families

 

We are in a snow globe, sitting peacefully amid the plastic, waterproof flakes, and suddenly someone gives us a shake – a full maraca-style shake that leaves us dizzy, unable to see clearly, and disorientated. This is how life sometimes feels in my house when it comes to traditions, and I’m struggling as a mom to help my children settle amid the blizzard. Our traditions for holidays, birthdays, and even just those little, comforting traditions have become jumbled. Illnesses, changing extended family dynamics, jobs, and plain-old growing up have impacted our family traditions so much that sometimes it doesn’t seem like we are even in the right place – our globe just doesn’t feel like our own. So I’ve been on a quest these last couple of years to provide the comforts of traditions for my kids – with flexibility.

Building Traditions with Kids

Ask my husband – I’m nuts about traditions. And I am not alone (or even too crazy) for feeling this way. According to research, Dr. Martin Cohen says that children are drawn to rituals and traditions, “artistically, spiritually and emotionally.” Traditions also help to provide our kids with healthy foundations that:

• Strengthen core beliefs
• Build self-esteem
• Give tools with which to deal with stress, fear, and anxiety
• Provide kids with a sense of control, security, and continuity

When we provide routines and traditions for our children, we are giving them more than memories in their scrapbooks. We are using those rituals to help shape who our children are, and who they will become.

5 Ways to Develop Rituals with Kids

The older my kids get, the more I see how our memories of past experiences can be vastly different, yet we can still hold on to the same fondness for a particular tradition – just for a different reason. Research also shows that there are different reasons why our kids remember certain aspects of their childhood, and what we can do to strengthen those memories.

• If you want them to remember it – do it more than once. Think about the things you remember from childhood. They are the routines – watching movies together on Friday nights, stopping for doughnuts after church, looking for constellations as you drove home from Grandma’s house – these small things we do without great planning, but they were done often.
• Write it down. If your child is too young to tell you how she feels, write down her reactions to certain things. If you kids are old enough, ask them to dictate the memories and record their thoughts on the backs of pictures, as captions on digital pictures, and in journals you keep together.
• Record their stories. Video and voice recordings are priceless keepsakes. One of my favorite things my husband has done is to record the voices of our kids at different ages – just simple things like saying (or trying to say) their names, saying phrases such as, “I love you, Mommy”, and capturing their laughter in audio files. (The kids absolutely love to listen to these as well, and it only takes seconds to record.)
• Have them choose their favorite drawings and school papers – Their reasons matter to them and they will know why it has been saved. You can keep some of your favorites, too, but the memories will be more meaningful for your kids if they had a say in which items are kept.
• Save a few tangibles – Their baby hat, first keychain, or first pair of glasses – they all represent memories. My children love to touch and hold the items that they remember cherishing. My 9 year-old still has the teddy bear his siblings picked out for him before he was even born.

Building Traditions with Kids

Sometimes we get so busy with the day-to-day craziness that we lose sight of all the ways we have the opportunities to build traditions with our kids. According to publications from Ohio State University, there are 3 main types of traditions parents should recognize for their kids:

1. Celebrations – These are traditions built around special occasions such as holidays and birthdays.
2. Family Traditions – These are specific traditions that are unique to individual families, such as Friday night game night, summer vacations at Grandma’s, etc.
3. Patterned Family Interactions – These are routines that we often forget help to create traditions that are important to our kids, even small things such as morning routines, who cooks dinner, reading together in the evening, etc.

What to do When Traditions End

It just isn’t the same. I’ve heard those words a lot in my house over the past two years, and my heart sags each time my kids say this phrase, for I am feeling it, too. However, we are slowly emerging from the sadness of losing some traditions and getting excited as we start to build new ones. If your family is struggling, especially this holiday season, with trying to build new traditions and rituals, try some of these ideas.

• Volunteer together. Nothing makes me and my kids stop the pity-party like volunteering to help someone less fortunate, and the volunteer opportunities can serve as new rituals for your own family.
• Start small. Sometimes when I see my kids sad about a tradition ending as life events have changed things beyond our control, I want to wave my Magical Mom Wand and make a grand gesture that will distract them. But trying to overdo new traditions can backfire. Can you really keep topping it each year? Instead of going all out, try getting back to the basics of the tradition.
• Think outside the box. Get creative in your solutions and try celebrating in ways that are non-traditional. If birthday celebrations are the source of sadness because of a loss in your family, spend a year celebrating half-birthdays. Because our kids can no longer celebrate individual birthdays with their cousins who moved out of state, we now hold one ginormous birthday bash each summer. The number of candles on the cake represent the total ages that the cousins will turn this year – which means we will soon light 87 candles! (Last year we had an ice cream cake and my husband had to use a butane torch to light the candles – not a good combination.) The kids also draw names from a hat and go on shopping missions with just $2/each at the thrift store and dollar store. Then the magic happens as they wrap the gifts in duct tape, decoy boxes, and anything else they can create.
• Don’t try to recreate. My mom always hosted the most magical Christmas Eve celebrations for our family, but now we are a country apart and my kids still miss that magic. The first year I fretted over how I would duplicate what Mom did, but then I realized that what I needed to do was create new traditions for my family.

Teaching Writing Skills to Kids

There are some frightening statistics about the abilities of students when it comes to writing. Even though writing is one of my passions, I know that it is not for everyone. In fact, I’ve had to come to terms with the almost unbearable (insert note of chagrin) fact that some of my kids don’t love writing. However, it is also a needed skill in life – one that our kids can learn. As a mom, homeschool parent, and writer, I don’t make exceptions to whether or not my kids want to write. It is like cleaning the toilet, washing behind your ears, or sending the 23rd arm-aching Thank You note – it just needs to happen. So let’s not get bent out of shape. Let’s find ways to make sure that you can do it. And along the way you will hopefully find a way to embrace the importance of writing, even if you don’t embrace it as your passion.

• 80% of high school seniors in the United States are not considered to be proficient writers.
• 20% of high school seniors in the United States are not considered to be basic writers.
• Girls tend to outscore boys on assessments of writing skills.
• It is estimated that American firms spend more than $3 billion each year as a result of writing deficiencies among employees.

So – with all of the research pointing to the fact that too many children, especially boys, are not acquiring sufficient writing skills, what can we do about it?

How Can We Help Our Kids Write Well?

We have to start earlier. We can’t wait until they are seniors in high school and then realize that they are not prepared for college courses or the expectations of their employers. As the mother of 4 children, 3 of them boys, I have seen firsthand how it can be more challenging to teach writing skills to some children. Writing is not a naturally occurring milestone – it needs to be woven into the activities in which children participate and it needs to become less of a chore and more of an extension of communication. Our children need to learn that writing (and not just LOL, IDK, or BRB) allows them to express themselves, helps them reach their goals, and is a tool they will need in their future.

Part of the challenge of teaching writing to children is that writing, unlike reading, can seem infinite. There are as many ways to write a paragraph about a monkey as there are words in your child’s vocabulary. This can overwhelm children and shut them down to the writing process before they ever even get started. If you have kids with learning or other challenges like I do – writing is sometimes actually almost painful. Let’s take away the pain and get back to finding ways to make writing – communicating – fun and effective.

Printable Activities for Writing

Give tangible goals to your kids for writing. I use these tickets as a way to remind my children on what areas they need to focus. Each ticket has a short, limited amount of goals, appropriate to where they are with their writing skills.

Don’t ask for it all in one. If you’re a homeschool parent like me, you can do this more easily. If your student attends public or private school, consider talking with his or her teacher about the writing strategies used in class. Find out what methods are utilized, and gently suggest some of these ideas.

• Limit writing to writing – especially for struggling writers. When you start to add grades for penmanship, spelling, and an accompanying picture to the mix it just gets to be too much.
• Brainstorm with your child. Show him how to write down words that he associates with the topic. These words can then be “jumping off” points for sentences, and they help kids focus their ideas.
• Meet your kids halfway. So for one of my kids the fine muscles needed for holding a pencil just don’t coordinate. But that doesn’t stop him from being able to knock out some pretty creative poetry and stories with the use of a word processor. Ask yourself what goal you are really trying to reach – and see if there is a way to meet your child part way to that goal.
• Try to help your kids create visual maps of their writing. For boys especially the writing process is not concrete enough to let them feel secure. When my boys were younger I used imagery like these worksheets to help them Build Great Paragraphs.

How do you help your kids learn to write?

My Mother’s Hands

For years my sister and I have giggled about how much my hands resemble our mother’s. I don’t think Mom will be offended if I say that she and I do not have the most elegant fingers or stylish and manicured nails. We both prefer to spend more time digging in the garden than sitting at the salon. We also share a quirky “reverse knuckle” that makes it look like dimples are dancing across the backs of our hands. It is also likely that the absence of colored polish means you can see the dirt stains under our nails more clearly. We rarely look fashionable with rings on our short fingers. Callouses, hangnails, scars, and wrinkles sprinkle themselves generously across our hands.

As I see the signs of time etch across my hands I sometimes look down to my fingers and somehow see my mother’s hands instead of my own.

I see her guiding hand teaching me how to sew (and then how to rip out those crooked seams as I prepared my 4-H sewing project). She continued the tradition and taught my daughter how to use her machine, although thankfully there were fewer seems to rip.
I see her fingers threaded through mine as she walked with me as a child. Those same fingers now thread between the fingers of her grandchildren.
I see her hands working the rolling pin as she made our favorite Christmas cookies. My fingers now turn the pages of her recipe books.
I see her fingers dancing up and down the keyboard playing what I called “The Charlie Brown Song” over and over again as I danced in the living room. Those same fingers taught me to play, and then guided my children’s fingers as they learned the notes.
I see her fingertips dance across the keyboard and make the familiar clickity-clack of the keys. It appears the writer lives in both of us.
I see her hands in church, folded in silent prayer, calmly and yet ever so purposefully resting on the pew. I often sit in that same pew, my children reaching up to my folded hands as I did to her so many years ago.

Mom recently apologized to me for “giving me her fingers” as we compared knotty knuckles and the beginning of my own arthritic bump. As I look at my hands I can only hope that I have truly inherited her hardworking fingers and open palms, always accepting of others. While I will never sign a contract as a hand model, I find myself looking more and more to my hands and hoping, folding my hands in prayer, that I have indeed inherited everything about my mother’s hands. There is nothing as beautiful as the loving, comforting, teaching, and guiding hands of a mother who uses her hands purposefully and joyously. Reverse knuckles and all.

WAHM – The Summer Challenge

School is out for the summer… now what?

For children it can be one of their favorite times of year – summer vacation – but for parents it can mean stress over how to keep the kids busy, safe, and away from the video games 8 hours each day. If you’re a work-at-home mom or in a household where both parents work outside of the home, summer vacation for the kids can be challenging to weave into your workload and family responsibilities.

Summer Vacation and Work-at-Home Moms
How will you get anything done?

I’m used to the kids being around – and I enjoy it. We’ve homeschooled for more than 15 years and a busy household is nothing new to this work-at-home mom, but I still have to transition myself and the kids for summer break. While they get a reprieve from those subjects that just aren’t their favorites, I still have to manage my workload – if not increase it during these summer months.

The kids are out of school and all they want to do is stay up late, swim every day, and run through the house leaving a trail of grass clippings and popsicle juice. Working at home can be challenging for parents during summer break from school, but there are a few strategies than can help everyone enjoy the summer sun (and still make deadlines for work).

Establish a routine. Consider what you and your kids most want to do this summer, then create a work schedule that allows for some of those things to happen. During the summer I take the early mornings to complete my work, as I have teens who like to sleep in and have slower starts to their days. The kids know that my work responsibilities must be met in order for us to go on and have some fun together, so they (usually) respect my need for routine. Hey – they’re kids and they don’t always get the adult-world-reality check.

Give the kids responsibilities. Household chores and yard-work help children build lifelong skills. These activities also help ease your workload around the house and keep the kids busy. Consider a schedule that has the kids doing their chores while you’re in work mode so that everyone has a similar schedule.

Keep your promises. If you tell the kids you will be finished by lunch so you can head to the beach, make sure you follow through with that. Your kids will learn to rely on your word and keep their own promises, but you will also all benefit from a break together.

Consider swapping kids with a friend. If you just need a few hours a week working at home alone, trade days or afternoons with a friend. You’ll both get “quiet time” and the kids will look forward to playing with their friends.

Help your kids find quiet summer hobbies. On those super-hot days when everyone wants to spend the afternoon hanging out in air-conditioning, have the kids try some new hobbies that will keep their hands and brains busy at the kitchen table. Painting, crafting, scrapbooking, sewing, or building model rockets and cars are all great boredom busters and can give you the time you need to catch up on work. I keep a stash in a tote of things I can pull out if I just need a few more minutes to complete a project – anything from dollar store whirly-birds to a fun science experiment kit.

Wear them out. When the kids were younger our summers were spent running like crazy during the morning, hiking, going to the park, and ending at the library with a picnic lunch somewhere. By the time we got home they were ready to either nap or chill out and read their library books. I had a few hours to work, and then we still had time to head outside to enjoy the pool or another fun summer activity.

Summer vacation from school (even for us homeschoolers) can be filled with challenges of negotiating schedules. However, it should still be a time to explore, learn, and have opportunities to engage in fun activities. Even though as a work-at-home mom my workload doesn’t take a summer vacation, I still love evenings by the bonfire, tents in the backyard, and digging my toes in the sand with the kids. On those really good days, I even get a little work done while they splash by my feet. Pretty soon you’ll be a work-at-home woman and the kids will be spending summers at their own summer jobs – enjoy the chaos now.

Banish the Book Banning

Book Banning and the Call for a Rating System

As I sat watching the original “Footloose” with my daughter last night, I thought of how so many things had changed – the hairstyles, the shoes, the dance moves – and yet how so many things have stayed the same. There is a scene where parents toss books into a burning bin – fearful of the words on the pages. It seems that no matter how modern our society becomes, it is still difficult to get over this fear.

Death, witchcraft, gore, and sex. These are just some of themes that you can see on the covers – and within the pages – of books in the children’s wing at your local library. And these are just a few of the reasons why some adults want books either banned from the children’s wings of libraries, or to have a rating system on books (much like the movie rating system). 

Should Books Be Rated for Kids?

The author of the Vampyre Labyrinth series, GP Taylor, is now changing his tune and pushing for age certifications on children’s literature. He admits that some of the books he has written are too frightening, and says that, “I have changed my mind: I think children’s literature has gone too far.”

Part of this appears to be stemming from a recent analysis of award-winning children’s literature. This analysis shows that modern children’s literature is more likely to feature characters with troubled or absent parents, or children who have been abandoned. However, if you ask one of my sons, Disney movies have been doing this since its inception. Long ago at the tender age of 6 this sweet son of mine swore off Disney movies – detesting them because the mom always dies. From Bambi to Cinderella to Finding Nemo – this theme of motherless children forced to endure life on their own has been a mainstay of classic children’s movies. My son banned Disney movies for himself – but we hardly ban them from the house as he discerned for himself what he felt good about watching or not (and now he loves scary movies – but still not Disney).

Opponents to book rating systems say that all it would do is create an almost innate desire in kids to read the book on the top shelf. It must be really good if it stays on the top shelf. In our library right now we have the children’s wing separated by signs – Early Readers, Young Adult Fiction, etc. – and that seems to work well enough for most families. Beyond creating the mystique that a rating system would do, rating books based on content would be such a subjective act. Who would be assigned or corralled to determine what books, at what ages, my kids should read? The only answer I am comfortable with is: my family.

Banning Books – Still a Modern Practice

While you don’t really hear of book burning in the news, you probably also aren’t hearing of book banning – but it is still happening. In fact, book banning is still trending enough so that there is an entire coalition, backed by the Library of Congress, dedicated to ending the practice. You can even check out the map of book banning across the United States. Banned Books Week, recently held September 30^th thru October 6^th, aims to protect literature (and readers) from the judgments of a select few.

Targeting The Hunger Games – and Other Modern Book Banning

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins, is just one recent title that some people have attempted to ban in libraries, schools, and bookstores. I was even asked recently by a parent if I would dare to let my kids read the series, to which I gave a smile and then proceeded to talk about how my kids not only read the books, but attended a book club devoted to the story. I reminded this nervous mother, who had been hearing from other parents how this book might be too violent for kids, that books aren’t inherently bad – it is how we interpret and use them that matters.

Parents use censorship all of the time – we monitor what programs our kids watch on television, we monitor the conversations in which they participate, and we monitor their activities. Book banning and rating, however, mean that someone else gets to choose what is best for your child.

A devout Christian will likely get much more out of The Chronicles of Narnia than will an atheist, because there is Biblical context for the Christian that he applies to the book, while the atheist views it merely as a form of literature. It is the context of life that we provide for our kids that they will use when discerning how a story does or does not relate to them.

Monitoring Book Choices for Kids

If you are concerned about a book selection your child is eager to read, don’t just put the book on the top shelf, out of reach, and walk away (or worse yet – try to ban it so others don’t have access to it).

• Read the books with your kids, either aloud together or each grab your own copy.
• Don’t banish scary stories – research shows that kids benefit from the imaginitive and emotional process when they are exposed to scary stories.
• Talk about the themes, the plots, the characters, and the parallels (if any) to real life.
• Talk about the differences between fiction and non-fiction.
• Find a book club for your kids so they can discuss these ideas among peers.
• Find other books with similar themes that you think are more appropriate and start there, willing to continue to the next level if your child still seems interested.

Famously Banned Books

You can put books like The Hunger Games in the same category of books such as

• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Where the Wild Things Are
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
• The Call of the Wild
• For Whom the Bell Tolls
• Invisible Man
• The Red Badge of Courage
• And so many more influential pieces of literature

All of these titles were criticized and in some places, banned. Yet, on a historical plane, all of the above titles have contributed to literature as an art and as contributions to humanity. Before you jump on the book banning bandwagon, ask yourself this question.

What is it about my child that worries me in regards to this book?

Maybe it is that your child is not yet mature enough for the plot, not yet sensitive enough for the emotions, or not yet morally grounded enough for the ideas presented. Then consider if the book is really the issue. If a book is going to thwart my child’s development, set his moral compass askew, or threaten what we know and believe about respect, integrity, and relationships, then the book is the least of my concerns.

Easy Activities that Bring Gratitude to the Table

Thanksgiving Activities that Bring Gratitude to the Table

Printable Activities to Put the “Thanks” in Thanksgiving

Great food, amazing family, and fun & games – three keys to a Happy Thanksgiving for our family. Each year I anticipate Thanksgiving through the eyes of my children, and try to draw them in to the spirit of the holiday with an attitude of gratitude and an abundance of fun. For we know that once Thanksgiving is over, we are in a tumble, rumble, roll towards Christmas with our children. So put the brakes on for a bit and plan some fun and meaningful activities for you and your entire family this Thanksgiving season!

Printable Activities for Attitudes of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is the kick-off to a wonderful holiday season, but it can be so easy for our families to get wrapped up in the chaos and commercialism of the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Help keep your kids grounded and form a little perspective this Thanksgiving (and Christmas) season with a few fun and easy printable activities you can do right at your Thanksgiving table.

I Am Thankful! – Print this form for an acrostic poem (you can do one for the family, work in groups, or print one for each person). It just takes a few minutes to complete, and it helps bring everyone together to share in some gratitude.

Blessings in a Box – Make these table decorations that also serve as reminders to have attitudes of gratitude and thankfulness. The instructions are on the printable sheets, and you can print as many tags as you need.

Our Thanksgiving Feast – This is a holiday twist on traditional mad libs that gets your kids using their grammar skills (shh – don’t tell them while they’re on school break). Play it the traditional way, having one person as the “caller” who asks the others around your Thanksgiving table for the various parts of speech to fill in the blanks (without revealing the story). When the caller has written in all of the blanks, he or she reads the story aloud. Even though it brings a bit of silliness to the table, it can remind your kids to think about why they are thankful.

Extending the Gratitude

Before we know it the pies will be eaten and the day of thanks will come to a close. If you are heading out for Black Friday shopping and jumping right into the next phase of this season, keep a sense of gratitude with you. (I’m as eager as the next person for a great bargain, but it is also my time to hang out with my daughter and make great memories.)

• Make the first item you buy for someone in need.
• Take your kids to the craft stores to buy supplies to make homemade gifts.
• Make the last stop of the day to do a good deed for someone else – grab the kids and take dinner to an elderly neighbor, encourage the kids to do a chore for a family member or friend (walk the dog, help clean the garage, etc.).

Keep the spirit of thankfulness in your hearts – and keep looking for ways to bring it more to life each day with your kids. I am thankful for the family and friends who surround me, the faith that guides me, and the opportunity to look forward to each day doing things I love to do.

The printable PDFs I created are yours to share and use this holiday season, but not to be sold or redistributed for commercial purposes. Thanks!

[I originally shared some of these ideas at BetterParenting.com :)]